About

Josh & Marilyn's story

Josh and Marilyn met in 1995 at seminary and were married the following year. They will celebrate 30 years of marriage in 2026. During those years, there have been many moves and many churches. In addition, Josh joined the Army National Guard in 2007 as a chaplain. There are many congregations that were wonderful in that time, but also many that were very painful.

Josh's last full-time congregation was the worst. What happened there was described by denominational and other national leaders as "the worst thing they had ever seen happen to a pastor." It nearly ended their marriage, Marilyn went into a deep depression, something we describe as a "spiritual and emotional coma." Josh begged God to let him die every month when he left for military duty. By God's grace, they were able to walk through that time and experience healing. Sadly, they had to do much of that on their own because of lack of funds and lack of resources. It is that experience that led Josh and Marilyn to begin Acacia Ministries.

Josh is a chaplain holding the rank of Lieutenant Colonel in the Army. He directs Acacia Ministries full-time and also preaches, leads music, and leads conferences. He also is a second-degree black belt in Taekwondo and is a level two instructor. He is currently pursuing a doctorate studying the community that Acaia aims to reach.

Marilyn owns her own business, In Bloom. She designs and maintains flower beds and bushes for scores of clients. She received the Presidential Lifetime Volunteer Achievement Award for her work with service members and families.

They have three children:

• Jesse works for a ministry called Kaleidoscope. He is completing his Master's in Counseling.
• Ruthie is also completing a Master's in Counseling. It is her intent to work with Acacia as a licensed professional counselor.
• Mikey is married to Cheyenne and they have one child, Eli. Mikey serves in the Army.

I have been in vocational ministry for over 35 years. In that time, I have had some amazing positions, and some that created a great deal of pain. Marilyn joined me in 1996 and has been along for most of that journey. One of the problems we had as we look back is we never really dealt with the trauma in the difficult churches. We just moved on.

In 2015, Marilyn and I moved back to NC and I became pastor of a dying church there. The congregation had gone from well over 200 to less than 40 in 20 years. In an assessment, the congregation gave themselves D's and F's in all of the nine areas identified in "The Autopsy of a Deceased Church". Ninety percent of them identified that the church was terminally sick or dying. Marilyn and I were ready to come alongside this congregation and help them be renewed.

One year later, we had nearly tripled in size. The congregation's assessment was now B's through D's, and everyone felt more hopeful. People were being baptized for the first time in years. Things were moving in a positive direction.

One year after that, all hell literally broke loose. The church mafia got together and literally tried to destroy us. I had made a promise to be there for 10 years, and they had agreed in writing to 10 years as well. They didn't care. It ended with two deacons and a sheriff at our house with a termination letter. One month later, they took us to court asking to evict us from the parsonage and put us on the street that day. The experience was devastating and was described as "the worst thing we've ever seen happen to a pastor." It took us a decade to really get to a place of true healing.

There were a lot of individuals who helped us initially, but there was no formal help. We left without a salary package and I went without a full-time job for over a year. Our life was in shambles. Our marriage nearly didn't survive and our children were suffering. Let me describe it this way:Imagine you and your family are in a terrible car accident. You are broken and bleeding on the side of the road. There are caring people who stop and provide first aid, water, and food. But then they say, "You'll get over this. God's got you. Trust in the Lord." And they leave. What does this family need?

A trip to the hospital.
Long-term recovery care.
Physical therapy.
Counseling.
People to show up and help with food, and cleaning, and watching the kids, etc, etc, etc.

This is the vision of Acacia Ministries.

There are many retreat-based ministries that provide a short-term respite during or after trauma for ministry and military families. There are counselors. There are other resources. However, it is often expected that families find and pay for these resources in the middle of their trauma. Families are expected to find their own help while they are emotionally and spiritually bleeding out.

Our family has been there. We have had to navigate congregational abuse mostly on our own. We have experienced the earthquake that military deployments and service can cause a family. We have walked through those dark valleys and have found healing and restoration. What we know is that if we had someone who walked through it with us and helped us through that time, healing might have happened much more quickly and completely.

Marilyn and I felt called to create what we needed and provide it to others. We want to support you, believe in you, and help be a part of the restoration that God is going to provide. We want every ministry family to walk away healed and ready to continue to serve God in vocational ministry. We want every military family to experience healing and continue to maintain that health throughout their career.

We have been where you are and we see you.